Brilliant!

It's 2:45am late on a Tuesday night and I'm watching Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story on AMC. Did you know that Lauren Holly was in the movie? And Jason Scott Lee plays Bruce Lee.

But the best part of watching a movie late at night on basic cable is the advertisements that come on.

I just heard Gilbert Gottfried endorsing a product called the Shoe Dini. The Shoe Dini is a shoehorn with a long handle marketed to older men and women to help them put on their shoes. I have absolutely no idea why it took so ridiculously long for Gilbert Gottfried to endorse products for the elderly. This is a frigging brilliant ad campaign. The only thing that would be better would be if the Shoe Dini came with a DVD of the ad (and outtakes).

I also saw ads for help getting out of back taxes as well as an ad for HD sunglasses. Neither Ringo nor I could figure out what precisely HD sunglasses were. We were told that they will help you see in HD and won't just make everything darker. Isn't real life already in high definition? Well, you can go buy two pairs of HD sunglasses for $10 (buy one, get one free). This is NOT available in stores.

By the way, who do you think would win in a fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris? What if you knew that Chuck Norris had shoulder and back hair?

Now you probably are thinking, "I didn't need to know any of this." But that's why I'm here, to show you the things that you would never learn on your own!