You probably don't need to know any of what I'm about to post.
The Syfy Channel has been a good source of science fiction shows and movies over the last few years. Every so often, I'll be flipping through channels (late at night) and will page my way to Channel 71 just to see what's playing. I've caught reruns of The X-Files, Battlestar Galactica, Caprica, Star Trek: The Next Generation as well as some good movies. They also have all sorts of Stargate stuff, Ghost Hunters, and Scare Tactics (hosted by Tracy Morgan) which seems like it would be a 30 Rock spinoff show. All in all, if you like you some sci fi, it's worth checking the Syfy Channel out.
That said, the Syfy Channel has been giving us some EXCEPTIONALLY bad content that no one knows about. They have some good movies and then they have some movies that feel like they were practical jokes played by college film students.
Let me present you with two pieces of evidence:
(and WATCH these clips - they are UNFREAKINGREAL and very very funny)
Exhibit A: Mansquito
The premise of Mansquito is that doctors are trying to develop a cure for a virus related to the West Nile virus (I think it's called the Gillian virus and who knows why that is). They discover that when given a small dose of radiation, the cure works, but apparently too much radiation is really bad. Anyway, they need to test this on humans, so the research leader brings in death row inmates to test on them. There was the following exchange:
Cop: Is this legal?
Research Dude: Yes. All the lawyers have signed off on it.
Anyway, there is laughably little security when transferring the inmate to the lab and he manages to get away, take a hostage and get doused with radiation and cure. He then quickly turns into a man-sized mosquito and starts draining the blood of his victims. I don't want to ruin the end for you... ok who am I kidding - we couldn't bear to watch until the end. Think District 9 with 1/100th the special effects budget and 1/10000th of the plot.
Exhibit B: Supergator
Look, I wasn't going to watch this at all, but then in the info bar, it showed that Kelly McGillis was in it. YES, THAT Kelly McGillis. The one who played opposite Tom Cruise in Top Gun. WTF?
The following is taken from wikipedia: Scott Kinney is an American geologist monitoring a local volcano when the Supergator, a prehistoric alligator recreated from fossilized DNA escapes from a secret bio-engineering research center. Kinney joins forces with another scientist (McGillis) and a Texan alligator hunter. They pursue the moster as it heads down river intent on destroying a luxurious resort packed with tourists.
Oh, I forgot to mention, this all takes place in Hawaii. How could there be a prehistoric alligator in Hawaii? How did it get there? Did it swim across the ocean? Was it carrying all the snakes that ended up on Samuel L. Jackson's plane? I understand that it's low budget, but can you make the movie seem a little bit less like the writers posted a bunch of ideas on a wall and then threw darts to pick which ones to put together.
I watched only the first 15 minutes of the movie (and enough to watch two people get killed!) But no Kelly McGillis. I think a little part of me would have died had I seen her in the movie. As far as I know, it might be another Kelly McGillis.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Restaurant Review - Flour + Water: Where Pasta Goes To Heaven
On Friday, Katt and I went to Flour + Water for dinner. It's at the corner of 20th and Harrison, right across the street from Cafe Gratitude. My friend Jen had taken me there a few months ago and we had a spectacular meal and I wanted to go again. Katt had never been and wanted to try it out as well. So on Friday, we made the quick drive over and waited for a table.
One of the things I like about Flour + Water is that they only have a portion of their tables available for reservation. That way you can always eat there if you're willing to wait. When I went with Jen, the wait was about 45 minutes. This time it was 90-100 minutes. Kind of long, but I kept telling Katt it was worth it.
In the spirit of the dinner, I will take this time to explain a little bit more about Flour + Water. The chef has worked at La Folie, Gary Danko, and Quince and also in Germany and France. To say that he knows his stuff is quite the understatement. The restaurant opened last year and won the SF Weekly's Best New Restaurant award and also made it on Michael Bauer's top 100 restaurants in the bay area.
We got two seats at the bar which is as nice a spot as any. The acoustics in the room are actually pretty good and it never got TOO loud, but I also didn't think that anyone else would be able to listen in on my conversation.
Katt and I ordered food to share:
- Alaskan hailbut cheek with marinated artichokes, spring onion, watercress, and capers
- Asparagus, roasted and raw with duck prosciutto and mixed greens
- Emilia Romagna pizza - mortadella, melted leeks, parmigiano, and ramp pesto
- Tacconi verde with fennel, lemon verbena and prosecco braised mussels and clams
- Macerated strawberries with fromage blanc, pistachio black pepper tuile (essentially a cracker) and aged balsamic - for dessert
When I came with Jen, I don't remember everything we ordered, but I think we also got the halibut cheek, but also ordered the minted papardelle with braised lamb and taggiasca olives.
The halibut cheek was good although I did not like pairing with the watercress. I found the watercress to overpower the halibut, but everything else on the plate worked really well together. Plus the bartender recommended a Marisa Cuomo Ravello that complemented everything we ordered.
The asparagus and duck prosciutto was spectacular. I had never even heard of duck prosciutto before, but it was very delicate and tasty. Mmmmmm. I want more.
The pizza we had was good and *definitely* tasty. But here's the thing, a lot of places do the neapolitan style pizza thing and they do it really well. Flour + Water's pizza is really good, but it doesn't distinguish itself from Gialina's or Beretta's pizza. I've never been to Delfina, so I can't make a good comparison there.
BUT THE PASTA...
Oh my freaking lord, this is by far the best pasta I have ever had. I still remember the taste of the pasta I had with Jen (the papardelle with braised lamb). The tacconi (which was like a more delicate papardelle) with clams and mussels blew my mind. The only way I can describe the pasta here is "sexy". I seriously felt a little weak in the knees with each bite of the pasta. It is amazingly delicious - all of the flavors mix together perfectly. Words cannot do it justice.
After a description like that, how can I even talk about dessert. Well there's always room for dessert. Dessert was strawberries with cheese and these very delicate pistachio and pepper cracker-type cookies. When the cracker was eaten first, I could taste the blend of pistachio and strawberry in perfect harmony with each other. When I had the strawberry first, I lost the pistachio - it got totally overwhelmed. Either way, it was a terrific end to the meal.
My recommendation to you is to go to Flour + Water with one or two friends. Be prepared to wait (you can have a couple glasses of wine). When you order, pass on the pizza. Do a couple appetizers and then at least two pastas. I wouldn't come here with more than a total of three people in your party unless you have reservations.
One of the things I like about Flour + Water is that they only have a portion of their tables available for reservation. That way you can always eat there if you're willing to wait. When I went with Jen, the wait was about 45 minutes. This time it was 90-100 minutes. Kind of long, but I kept telling Katt it was worth it.
In the spirit of the dinner, I will take this time to explain a little bit more about Flour + Water. The chef has worked at La Folie, Gary Danko, and Quince and also in Germany and France. To say that he knows his stuff is quite the understatement. The restaurant opened last year and won the SF Weekly's Best New Restaurant award and also made it on Michael Bauer's top 100 restaurants in the bay area.
We got two seats at the bar which is as nice a spot as any. The acoustics in the room are actually pretty good and it never got TOO loud, but I also didn't think that anyone else would be able to listen in on my conversation.
Katt and I ordered food to share:
- Alaskan hailbut cheek with marinated artichokes, spring onion, watercress, and capers
- Asparagus, roasted and raw with duck prosciutto and mixed greens
- Emilia Romagna pizza - mortadella, melted leeks, parmigiano, and ramp pesto
- Tacconi verde with fennel, lemon verbena and prosecco braised mussels and clams
- Macerated strawberries with fromage blanc, pistachio black pepper tuile (essentially a cracker) and aged balsamic - for dessert
When I came with Jen, I don't remember everything we ordered, but I think we also got the halibut cheek, but also ordered the minted papardelle with braised lamb and taggiasca olives.
The halibut cheek was good although I did not like pairing with the watercress. I found the watercress to overpower the halibut, but everything else on the plate worked really well together. Plus the bartender recommended a Marisa Cuomo Ravello that complemented everything we ordered.
The asparagus and duck prosciutto was spectacular. I had never even heard of duck prosciutto before, but it was very delicate and tasty. Mmmmmm. I want more.
The pizza we had was good and *definitely* tasty. But here's the thing, a lot of places do the neapolitan style pizza thing and they do it really well. Flour + Water's pizza is really good, but it doesn't distinguish itself from Gialina's or Beretta's pizza. I've never been to Delfina, so I can't make a good comparison there.
BUT THE PASTA...
Oh my freaking lord, this is by far the best pasta I have ever had. I still remember the taste of the pasta I had with Jen (the papardelle with braised lamb). The tacconi (which was like a more delicate papardelle) with clams and mussels blew my mind. The only way I can describe the pasta here is "sexy". I seriously felt a little weak in the knees with each bite of the pasta. It is amazingly delicious - all of the flavors mix together perfectly. Words cannot do it justice.
After a description like that, how can I even talk about dessert. Well there's always room for dessert. Dessert was strawberries with cheese and these very delicate pistachio and pepper cracker-type cookies. When the cracker was eaten first, I could taste the blend of pistachio and strawberry in perfect harmony with each other. When I had the strawberry first, I lost the pistachio - it got totally overwhelmed. Either way, it was a terrific end to the meal.
My recommendation to you is to go to Flour + Water with one or two friends. Be prepared to wait (you can have a couple glasses of wine). When you order, pass on the pizza. Do a couple appetizers and then at least two pastas. I wouldn't come here with more than a total of three people in your party unless you have reservations.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Done With Finals!
Dead Week and Finals Week were always my favorites at Stanford. I know, I'm a little strange, but let's just say for argument's sake that I wasn't the *best* student out there. Dead Week was always the indicator that I had to get my ass in gear and start learning everything that I didn't need to know for my papers or midterms.
As a result, I would cram like nobody's business during Dead Week and Finals Week. It was really cool to finally be learning all the things that I had been hearing about from my professors throughout the quarter. Everything started to congeal into a single picture of the material I was supposed to have been learning. And then I'd take the final and move on to the next class.
This was typically a satisfactory strategy except for two notable cases. #2 was when I pulled an all nighter during spring quarter freshman year for my Comparative Politics class. This was back when I thought I was going to be a Poli Sci major. The class was about as boring as going to a four-hour meeting about what color wires should be used in setting up an electrical system in a building. Except that this meeting lasted for 8 weeks. Suffice to say, the day before the final, I had read 210 out of 2500 pages of material. Once the final came around, I think I was in the 1600 page range - not bad - except that I started falling asleep while writing my Final Exam essays. At one point, I tried to write, "In the world's eye" (which, by the way, is an idiotic statement, but I digress) and fell asleep while writing it. When I woke up, I saw that I had written, "In the world's hyena." Awesome. Except not.
#1 was my Computer Science final during my sophomore year. I was taking three classes in Spring Quarter, two for my major and an Intro to Programming course. For those of you who know me well, I am NOT a programmer. I have an analytical mind on occasion, but programming is not my forte. I stopped paying attention in class after the last midterm and figured that since the Final would be Open Book and Open Notes, I wouldn't have a problem. When I got the final exam, I flipped through all ten pages of it to see what topics were being covered. On page 7, I thought to myself, "OK, I think I know how to do this one," but every other page had stuff that was almost completely foreign to me. I had never had such a sinking feeling ever. So I spent the next three hours learning some of the concepts and then applying them to the final exam. Luckily, I took the class for a grade and not pass/no credit. Apparently, a D+ is a passing grade for the graded option, but is a No Credit for the easier option. Funny enough, before I got my grade, I prayed that I wouldn't get a C in the class. I should have specified.
Fast forward to this past Monday and Wednesday when I had finals for Accounting 100 (intro to accounting) and Accounting 121 (Financial Accounting). I was ready and had told myself that I wasn't going to be as behind as I was when I was an undergrad. And I'm actually proud to say that I was much more on top of the material this time around. Believe it or not, the Accounting 100 final was more difficult than the Accounting 121 final. I thought that the test in 121 was much more indicative of the material we had learned whereas the 100 final really covered some minor/esoteric items. It was more of a "I'm just making sure you read the textbook cover-to-cover" sort of test and those are really difficult to study for.
Anyway, I got A's in both classes. I really wanted 100% in Financial Accounting (I hadn't missed any questions on the two midterms), but I got two wrong. I know it sounds INCREDIBLY nerdy and all that, but the competitive side of me REALLY REALLY wanted to get them all right.
Next time I will.
As a result, I would cram like nobody's business during Dead Week and Finals Week. It was really cool to finally be learning all the things that I had been hearing about from my professors throughout the quarter. Everything started to congeal into a single picture of the material I was supposed to have been learning. And then I'd take the final and move on to the next class.
This was typically a satisfactory strategy except for two notable cases. #2 was when I pulled an all nighter during spring quarter freshman year for my Comparative Politics class. This was back when I thought I was going to be a Poli Sci major. The class was about as boring as going to a four-hour meeting about what color wires should be used in setting up an electrical system in a building. Except that this meeting lasted for 8 weeks. Suffice to say, the day before the final, I had read 210 out of 2500 pages of material. Once the final came around, I think I was in the 1600 page range - not bad - except that I started falling asleep while writing my Final Exam essays. At one point, I tried to write, "In the world's eye" (which, by the way, is an idiotic statement, but I digress) and fell asleep while writing it. When I woke up, I saw that I had written, "In the world's hyena." Awesome. Except not.
#1 was my Computer Science final during my sophomore year. I was taking three classes in Spring Quarter, two for my major and an Intro to Programming course. For those of you who know me well, I am NOT a programmer. I have an analytical mind on occasion, but programming is not my forte. I stopped paying attention in class after the last midterm and figured that since the Final would be Open Book and Open Notes, I wouldn't have a problem. When I got the final exam, I flipped through all ten pages of it to see what topics were being covered. On page 7, I thought to myself, "OK, I think I know how to do this one," but every other page had stuff that was almost completely foreign to me. I had never had such a sinking feeling ever. So I spent the next three hours learning some of the concepts and then applying them to the final exam. Luckily, I took the class for a grade and not pass/no credit. Apparently, a D+ is a passing grade for the graded option, but is a No Credit for the easier option. Funny enough, before I got my grade, I prayed that I wouldn't get a C in the class. I should have specified.
Fast forward to this past Monday and Wednesday when I had finals for Accounting 100 (intro to accounting) and Accounting 121 (Financial Accounting). I was ready and had told myself that I wasn't going to be as behind as I was when I was an undergrad. And I'm actually proud to say that I was much more on top of the material this time around. Believe it or not, the Accounting 100 final was more difficult than the Accounting 121 final. I thought that the test in 121 was much more indicative of the material we had learned whereas the 100 final really covered some minor/esoteric items. It was more of a "I'm just making sure you read the textbook cover-to-cover" sort of test and those are really difficult to study for.
Anyway, I got A's in both classes. I really wanted 100% in Financial Accounting (I hadn't missed any questions on the two midterms), but I got two wrong. I know it sounds INCREDIBLY nerdy and all that, but the competitive side of me REALLY REALLY wanted to get them all right.
Next time I will.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Paparazzi for Sixth Graders
Really quick post. I saw this on Jim's Facebook feed and it freaking RULES! Just watch this performance. In particular, watch the reactions of the kids in the background: both the moment of realization for some and the utter boredom by others.
Katy Perry: Ruining America
OK, just call me Hatey Perry...
I was driving home from class on Monday and I heard the new Katy Perry/Snoop Dogg "collaboration" called "California Gurls." Oh wait no, not that one, try THIS California Gurls. After listening to the song with my jaw on my lap in horror, all I could think was how the hell did we get here?
A quick background on Katy Perry. She grew up in Santa Barbara as the second child of two pastors. She grew up listening to gospel music and singing in the choir. After freshman year in high school, she took her GED, passed, and left high school to pursue a singing career. Her church singing got her noticed and she released a gospel-rock album in 2001. She then got a song on the soundtrack to "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" and got signed by Columbia Records. She got dropped 80% of the way through her album there and then got signed by Capital Records. Presumably by this point, Katy realized that she needed to sell out a bit to make it.
Believe it or not, I saw Katy Perry perform (by accident, mind you) at Mezzanine 3 and a half years ago. Nina and I went to their "New Year's Disco 2008" featuring Blaqk Audio, Moving Units and a DJ set by Junior Boys. Katy Perry was one of the openers.
There have been two concerts in my life where I have booed the performer on stage. The first was watching Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil struggle through an entire show where he needed a couple minutes between EVERY song and couldn't sing any of their old songs (not even close). Also, for those of you who like Home Sweet Home, I have never had a song from my adolescence crushed like they did that night.
The second concert where I booed was Katy Perry. I had never heard any of her stuff before, so I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Midway through the show, I started to realize that she was pretty bad. And then she pulled out her song "Ur So Gay." I had to go to the bar to numb the pain. The bartender and I even had this exchange:
Me: "She's pretty awful."
Bartender: "I haven't heard anything this bad in a long time."
Me: "I just want her to finish her set."
Bartender: "At least you can go outside for a cigarette. I have to stay in here."
Now before I rush to judge a song by its title or its introduction (which was something to the effect of "this is my favorite single off my new album... it's called Ur So Gay") and just be completely offended, I might as well read a little bit about the song or listen to the lyrics. Now not everyone agrees with me that calling someone "gay" is offensive, but I see it as akin to calling someone who is being tight with money a jew or any other slur/epithet. As Tommy Woon (who did multicultural education at Stanford) would say, if you had to substitute another word for gay in that context, what would it be? Does you're so gay mean, "hey that's awesome" or is it more like lame, stupid, effeminate, bad?
In Ur So Gay, being gay means essentially being a hipster - caring too much about appearance, wearing lots of black, etc. - or otherwise being non-masculine. Here's the first verse:
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive
The chorus is:
You're so gay and you don't even like boys
No you don't even like
No you don't even like
No you don't even like boys
According to some, this isn't gay-bashing it's calling out the boys who can't handle Katy Perry's edge. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Now I get it. Oh wait, does that mean I'm so gay?
Moving on...
I will admit that some of her songs are catchy. I have caught myself singing "I kissed a girl and I liked it" and even "You're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no." Each of these songs has lyrics that toe the line of taste/offensiveness.
You see, here's the thing. If there were just one song with lyrics, I could look the other way, but all of these together? They just reinforce stereotypes:
1) In I Kissed A Girl, she drinks a bit, loses discretion, kisses a girl and hopes her boyfriend doesn't mind.
2) In Ur So Gay... well I've already talked about that way too much
3) In Hot N Cold, you change your mind like a girl changes clothes. Yeah you PMS like a bitch, I would know.
4) And now California Gurls: Sex on a beach/we get sand in our stilletos/We freak/And we're cheap/So play the songs on the stereo. And the chorus: California girls/we're unforgettable/Daisy Dukes/Bikinis on top/Sun-kissed skin/So hot/Will melt your popsicle.
(Wow, when did I become such the curmudgeon?)
What I think really gets me are all the way-too-transparent record studio tricks.
Trick 1: Party songs seem to be the rage right now and we need a party anthem to counter Tik Tok by Ke$ha (who is a train wreck and is also ruining America).
Trick 2: Let's combine an up-and-coming star with a rap star to increase appeal.
Trick 3: Ke$ha sings octave jumps in her song and our surveys show that that is what sets her song apart, let's have Katy Perry do the same thing.
Trick 4: songs that are about a region of the US gain in popularity quicker.
Trick 5: intentionally misspell one of the words in the title because that is what our target demographic relates to.
Trick 6: have unintentionally comedic lack of chemistry between two artists so that it's obvious that the two have never met in person though they have a song together. (Oh wait, strike that last one.)
And that's the end of my rant. There's no way you made it all the way through this. I should probably just accept that I'm not in the target demographic. At all.
I was driving home from class on Monday and I heard the new Katy Perry/Snoop Dogg "collaboration" called "California Gurls." Oh wait no, not that one, try THIS California Gurls. After listening to the song with my jaw on my lap in horror, all I could think was how the hell did we get here?
A quick background on Katy Perry. She grew up in Santa Barbara as the second child of two pastors. She grew up listening to gospel music and singing in the choir. After freshman year in high school, she took her GED, passed, and left high school to pursue a singing career. Her church singing got her noticed and she released a gospel-rock album in 2001. She then got a song on the soundtrack to "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" and got signed by Columbia Records. She got dropped 80% of the way through her album there and then got signed by Capital Records. Presumably by this point, Katy realized that she needed to sell out a bit to make it.
Believe it or not, I saw Katy Perry perform (by accident, mind you) at Mezzanine 3 and a half years ago. Nina and I went to their "New Year's Disco 2008" featuring Blaqk Audio, Moving Units and a DJ set by Junior Boys. Katy Perry was one of the openers.
There have been two concerts in my life where I have booed the performer on stage. The first was watching Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil struggle through an entire show where he needed a couple minutes between EVERY song and couldn't sing any of their old songs (not even close). Also, for those of you who like Home Sweet Home, I have never had a song from my adolescence crushed like they did that night.
The second concert where I booed was Katy Perry. I had never heard any of her stuff before, so I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Midway through the show, I started to realize that she was pretty bad. And then she pulled out her song "Ur So Gay." I had to go to the bar to numb the pain. The bartender and I even had this exchange:
Me: "She's pretty awful."
Bartender: "I haven't heard anything this bad in a long time."
Me: "I just want her to finish her set."
Bartender: "At least you can go outside for a cigarette. I have to stay in here."
Now before I rush to judge a song by its title or its introduction (which was something to the effect of "this is my favorite single off my new album... it's called Ur So Gay") and just be completely offended, I might as well read a little bit about the song or listen to the lyrics. Now not everyone agrees with me that calling someone "gay" is offensive, but I see it as akin to calling someone who is being tight with money a jew or any other slur/epithet. As Tommy Woon (who did multicultural education at Stanford) would say, if you had to substitute another word for gay in that context, what would it be? Does you're so gay mean, "hey that's awesome" or is it more like lame, stupid, effeminate, bad?
In Ur So Gay, being gay means essentially being a hipster - caring too much about appearance, wearing lots of black, etc. - or otherwise being non-masculine. Here's the first verse:
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive
The chorus is:
You're so gay and you don't even like boys
No you don't even like
No you don't even like
No you don't even like boys
According to some, this isn't gay-bashing it's calling out the boys who can't handle Katy Perry's edge. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Now I get it. Oh wait, does that mean I'm so gay?
Moving on...
I will admit that some of her songs are catchy. I have caught myself singing "I kissed a girl and I liked it" and even "You're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no." Each of these songs has lyrics that toe the line of taste/offensiveness.
You see, here's the thing. If there were just one song with lyrics, I could look the other way, but all of these together? They just reinforce stereotypes:
1) In I Kissed A Girl, she drinks a bit, loses discretion, kisses a girl and hopes her boyfriend doesn't mind.
2) In Ur So Gay... well I've already talked about that way too much
3) In Hot N Cold, you change your mind like a girl changes clothes. Yeah you PMS like a bitch, I would know.
4) And now California Gurls: Sex on a beach/we get sand in our stilletos/We freak/And we're cheap/So play the songs on the stereo. And the chorus: California girls/we're unforgettable/Daisy Dukes/Bikinis on top/Sun-kissed skin/So hot/Will melt your popsicle.
(Wow, when did I become such the curmudgeon?)
What I think really gets me are all the way-too-transparent record studio tricks.
Trick 1: Party songs seem to be the rage right now and we need a party anthem to counter Tik Tok by Ke$ha (who is a train wreck and is also ruining America).
Trick 2: Let's combine an up-and-coming star with a rap star to increase appeal.
Trick 3: Ke$ha sings octave jumps in her song and our surveys show that that is what sets her song apart, let's have Katy Perry do the same thing.
Trick 4: songs that are about a region of the US gain in popularity quicker.
Trick 5: intentionally misspell one of the words in the title because that is what our target demographic relates to.
Trick 6: have unintentionally comedic lack of chemistry between two artists so that it's obvious that the two have never met in person though they have a song together. (Oh wait, strike that last one.)
And that's the end of my rant. There's no way you made it all the way through this. I should probably just accept that I'm not in the target demographic. At all.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Brilliant!
It's 2:45am late on a Tuesday night and I'm watching Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story on AMC. Did you know that Lauren Holly was in the movie? And Jason Scott Lee plays Bruce Lee.
But the best part of watching a movie late at night on basic cable is the advertisements that come on.
I just heard Gilbert Gottfried endorsing a product called the Shoe Dini. The Shoe Dini is a shoehorn with a long handle marketed to older men and women to help them put on their shoes. I have absolutely no idea why it took so ridiculously long for Gilbert Gottfried to endorse products for the elderly. This is a frigging brilliant ad campaign. The only thing that would be better would be if the Shoe Dini came with a DVD of the ad (and outtakes).
I also saw ads for help getting out of back taxes as well as an ad for HD sunglasses. Neither Ringo nor I could figure out what precisely HD sunglasses were. We were told that they will help you see in HD and won't just make everything darker. Isn't real life already in high definition? Well, you can go buy two pairs of HD sunglasses for $10 (buy one, get one free). This is NOT available in stores.
By the way, who do you think would win in a fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris? What if you knew that Chuck Norris had shoulder and back hair?
Now you probably are thinking, "I didn't need to know any of this." But that's why I'm here, to show you the things that you would never learn on your own!
But the best part of watching a movie late at night on basic cable is the advertisements that come on.
I just heard Gilbert Gottfried endorsing a product called the Shoe Dini. The Shoe Dini is a shoehorn with a long handle marketed to older men and women to help them put on their shoes. I have absolutely no idea why it took so ridiculously long for Gilbert Gottfried to endorse products for the elderly. This is a frigging brilliant ad campaign. The only thing that would be better would be if the Shoe Dini came with a DVD of the ad (and outtakes).
I also saw ads for help getting out of back taxes as well as an ad for HD sunglasses. Neither Ringo nor I could figure out what precisely HD sunglasses were. We were told that they will help you see in HD and won't just make everything darker. Isn't real life already in high definition? Well, you can go buy two pairs of HD sunglasses for $10 (buy one, get one free). This is NOT available in stores.
By the way, who do you think would win in a fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris? What if you knew that Chuck Norris had shoulder and back hair?
Now you probably are thinking, "I didn't need to know any of this." But that's why I'm here, to show you the things that you would never learn on your own!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Restaurant Review - Emmy's Spaghetti Shack
A few weeks ago, Shing and I went to Emmy's Spaghetti Shack in Bernal Heights at 3355 Mission (though it is more accurately on Virginia Ave right off of Mission). We got there around 9:30pm. I think we were there on a Thursday night, but it might have been a Friday. (How the heck can my memory be this bad that I can't remember what day of the week it was? Someone remind me of this the next time I claim to have an above-average memory.) UPDATE: Shing reminded me that we were there on a Friday night.
Emmy's is a very small place with a lot of character. They have about 12 booths and 4 other tables. I had heard that there is typically a wait at Emmy's and now I know why. We were told that it would be about 45 minutes for the two of us. It was cold out, so we waited near the tiny bar and contemplated ordering some wine. Luckily, a table opened up quickly that could only accommodate two people and we were the only two-person group waiting.
We weren't hugely hungry, so we just grabbed two entrees, no appetizers and no desserts. We got the signature spaghetti with meatballs and a pasta special that was penne and seafood and cheese and some veggies. Normally I would NOT order something that I could make at home (unless it's a sandwich). Bu when you go to a spaghetti shack for the first time, you order the spaghetti!
This was VERY tasty pasta. The spaghetti and meatballs was definitely worth the $12.95. The penne was also really good. If it wasn't for the wait, I'd be coming here much more often. The service was good in a hipster sort of way - the servers were quirky and dressed in black, but also very outgoing and cool.
Do not come to Emmy's with more than a group of four - it'll take a really long time to get a table. I would suggest either sending one person ahead or call me and I'll wait in line for you in exchange for a glass of wine.
Emmy's is a very small place with a lot of character. They have about 12 booths and 4 other tables. I had heard that there is typically a wait at Emmy's and now I know why. We were told that it would be about 45 minutes for the two of us. It was cold out, so we waited near the tiny bar and contemplated ordering some wine. Luckily, a table opened up quickly that could only accommodate two people and we were the only two-person group waiting.
We weren't hugely hungry, so we just grabbed two entrees, no appetizers and no desserts. We got the signature spaghetti with meatballs and a pasta special that was penne and seafood and cheese and some veggies. Normally I would NOT order something that I could make at home (unless it's a sandwich). Bu when you go to a spaghetti shack for the first time, you order the spaghetti!
This was VERY tasty pasta. The spaghetti and meatballs was definitely worth the $12.95. The penne was also really good. If it wasn't for the wait, I'd be coming here much more often. The service was good in a hipster sort of way - the servers were quirky and dressed in black, but also very outgoing and cool.
Do not come to Emmy's with more than a group of four - it'll take a really long time to get a table. I would suggest either sending one person ahead or call me and I'll wait in line for you in exchange for a glass of wine.
Restaurant Review - Spruce: "That'll Do, Pig. That'll Do"
A couple weeks ago, we went to Spruce for Don's birthday. The dinner was very highly anticipated and I was expecting a pretty amazing dining experience. I guess it would be more accurate to say that I was expecting Spruce to completely blow my socks off - probably not a fair expectation to have going into a new restaurant.
We started off on the wrong foot. It took our server about 15 minutes to take our drink orders. I was thirsty and wanted a drink!! Plus there were a bunch of drinks on their menu that looked really good. I ordered a "Pharoah's Gold" which was amazingly tasty (complete with honey and a garnish of honeycomb). It isn't on their menu right now, so I can't tell you exactly what was in it, but I was impressed by how well-balanced all the flavors were.
For dinner, I started with the Foraged Nettle and Green Garlic Soup (with a soft poached egg). The soup was VERY green, which kind of makes sense. It was a much lighter soup and taste than I was expecting and I could hardly taste the garlic. When I took a bite with everything together, it tasted really good and balanced.
We also ordered the Charcuterie plate for the entire table. I am not normally a fan of foie gras, pate, or beef tongue, but I gave it a shot (tongue for the very first time ever). All of the selections were very tasty, in particular the tongue. I was impressed - this was more of what I was thinking Spruce would be like.
For the main entree, I got the Charred Berkshire Pork Tenderloin with Crispy Pork Belly and Shelling Beans. Once again, the taste did not jump out at me at first. After a few bites, though, I was vastly impressed by the tenderness of the meat. It was cooked absolutely to perfection. The crispy pork belly was also phenomenal. For each bite, I had to chew slowly and allow the flavors to blend together.
Dessert was also quite tasty - I had a chocolate and peanut butter brownie that I finished almost immediately after it was put in front of me (not because it was excessively small, it was excessively good).
As for wine and spirits, they had a fairly overwhelming wine list, but Don and the sommelier had a good discussion and they made some good choices. A couple people ordered rum after dinner and their selections were tasty.
Overall, I would say that Spruce was a very good spot for dinner. Everything felt well balanced - the flavors, the drinks, the ambiance, and the service. The prices on the entrees were quite reasonable. Nothing completely stood out to me as spectacular, but everything together was really good. This is a spot where you will be taking your time for dinner. It's a good spot both for couples and small groups.
We started off on the wrong foot. It took our server about 15 minutes to take our drink orders. I was thirsty and wanted a drink!! Plus there were a bunch of drinks on their menu that looked really good. I ordered a "Pharoah's Gold" which was amazingly tasty (complete with honey and a garnish of honeycomb). It isn't on their menu right now, so I can't tell you exactly what was in it, but I was impressed by how well-balanced all the flavors were.
For dinner, I started with the Foraged Nettle and Green Garlic Soup (with a soft poached egg). The soup was VERY green, which kind of makes sense. It was a much lighter soup and taste than I was expecting and I could hardly taste the garlic. When I took a bite with everything together, it tasted really good and balanced.
We also ordered the Charcuterie plate for the entire table. I am not normally a fan of foie gras, pate, or beef tongue, but I gave it a shot (tongue for the very first time ever). All of the selections were very tasty, in particular the tongue. I was impressed - this was more of what I was thinking Spruce would be like.
For the main entree, I got the Charred Berkshire Pork Tenderloin with Crispy Pork Belly and Shelling Beans. Once again, the taste did not jump out at me at first. After a few bites, though, I was vastly impressed by the tenderness of the meat. It was cooked absolutely to perfection. The crispy pork belly was also phenomenal. For each bite, I had to chew slowly and allow the flavors to blend together.
Dessert was also quite tasty - I had a chocolate and peanut butter brownie that I finished almost immediately after it was put in front of me (not because it was excessively small, it was excessively good).
As for wine and spirits, they had a fairly overwhelming wine list, but Don and the sommelier had a good discussion and they made some good choices. A couple people ordered rum after dinner and their selections were tasty.
Overall, I would say that Spruce was a very good spot for dinner. Everything felt well balanced - the flavors, the drinks, the ambiance, and the service. The prices on the entrees were quite reasonable. Nothing completely stood out to me as spectacular, but everything together was really good. This is a spot where you will be taking your time for dinner. It's a good spot both for couples and small groups.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Back To 5th Grade
On Friday last week, I decided to stop by my old elementary school - Franklin. My classes ended at about 12:15 on Friday and I had to stop by my landlord's house to drop off a rent check. My landlords live about three blocks away from Franklin.
I had heard a rumor from Yuriko that my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Moore, was retiring. Turns out that the rumor isn't true. Yuriko and I have been friends since high school but we were both at BIS (Burlingame Intermediate School) at the same time and both took Mrs. Moore's class a couple years apart. (Yuriko's daughter is now taking 5th grade from Mrs. Moore.)
I got to Mrs. Moore's classroom right around 1pm which was just after lunch. I've visited her at Franklin a few times over the years, but this is the first time that I saw her while she was teaching (that is, since I was a kid). Let me tell you, a fifth grade classroom of 32 kids is CHAOTIC! They're constantly fidgeting and getting stuff out of their desks and giggling. I could NOT be a fifth grade teacher.
Mrs. Moore introduced me to the class and then gave me a vocabulary test. It was great, the kids were all surprised that I had to take the test. They told me that I had to write in cursive. And then they asked me if the test was hard. I said that it was challenging, but that I thought I did ok. Once I was done, Mrs. Moore told the class that I was available if anyone needed help with their color wheels. (The color wheel was a project where the kids have to creatively show the progression of colors through the visible spectrum - red to red-orange to orange to yellow-orange and so on. The kids would pick some creative way to show the progression. For example, one kid had cut out an airplane on white paper. The airplane windows were a progression of the colors along the color wheel.)
One of the kids asked me for help and he seemed to be horribly behind. He had somehow failed to paint all 12 colors necessary for the project so we had to borrow colors from other kids. His project was a Cheerios box that would be pouring out cheerios of different colors. OK, not the most creative ever, but hell, who am I to criticize? I felt bad because the kid was either color blind or absolutely clueless. I asked him to put the colors in order and he was just guessing - blues next to reds next to greens and yellows. I did my best to help him out.
Around 1:50, the class left for recess and Mrs. Moore and I chatted a bit. I told her about my unemployed status and that I was taking classes at CSM. Upon hearing that I am free most days, she asked me if I wanted to come help out again this week. Apparently they were doing lessons on static electricity and circuits (yes, I know, two of my strong suits) and she needed a couple extra bodies to help out. I said that I'd be happy to.
I showed up yesterday for the static electricity lesson and a parent was there. We distributed balloons and tissue paper and pieces of wool and plastic spoons. I tied a bunch of balloon knots and ultimately had a pretty good time watching the kids rub balloons in their hair to see how many they could get to stay. One kid had three balloons suspended by her hair.
Today, they were working with circuits - series circuits and parallel circuits. There were four parents and me all there to help out. I had no idea what the heck I was doing. One of the parents I tried following the handouts (dittos?) to make a parallel circuit and it just didn't work. Eventually we figured it out. Let's just say it was a little damaging to the ego to see how easily the kids were able to do this.
Anyway, I had a group of six kids I was working with. They were paired up and I was there to help them do the project. They were pretty good kids - fun and were trying hard. I had Yuriko's daughter Kailey in my group, too. She was kind of quiet, but I think that was because she wasn't sure what they were supposed to be doing. Ultimately, everyone made both series circuits and parallel circuits. And then after that, we had them make electromagnets. All in all, I had a pretty good time. And I learned something, too!
I had heard a rumor from Yuriko that my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Moore, was retiring. Turns out that the rumor isn't true. Yuriko and I have been friends since high school but we were both at BIS (Burlingame Intermediate School) at the same time and both took Mrs. Moore's class a couple years apart. (Yuriko's daughter is now taking 5th grade from Mrs. Moore.)
I got to Mrs. Moore's classroom right around 1pm which was just after lunch. I've visited her at Franklin a few times over the years, but this is the first time that I saw her while she was teaching (that is, since I was a kid). Let me tell you, a fifth grade classroom of 32 kids is CHAOTIC! They're constantly fidgeting and getting stuff out of their desks and giggling. I could NOT be a fifth grade teacher.
Mrs. Moore introduced me to the class and then gave me a vocabulary test. It was great, the kids were all surprised that I had to take the test. They told me that I had to write in cursive. And then they asked me if the test was hard. I said that it was challenging, but that I thought I did ok. Once I was done, Mrs. Moore told the class that I was available if anyone needed help with their color wheels. (The color wheel was a project where the kids have to creatively show the progression of colors through the visible spectrum - red to red-orange to orange to yellow-orange and so on. The kids would pick some creative way to show the progression. For example, one kid had cut out an airplane on white paper. The airplane windows were a progression of the colors along the color wheel.)
One of the kids asked me for help and he seemed to be horribly behind. He had somehow failed to paint all 12 colors necessary for the project so we had to borrow colors from other kids. His project was a Cheerios box that would be pouring out cheerios of different colors. OK, not the most creative ever, but hell, who am I to criticize? I felt bad because the kid was either color blind or absolutely clueless. I asked him to put the colors in order and he was just guessing - blues next to reds next to greens and yellows. I did my best to help him out.
Around 1:50, the class left for recess and Mrs. Moore and I chatted a bit. I told her about my unemployed status and that I was taking classes at CSM. Upon hearing that I am free most days, she asked me if I wanted to come help out again this week. Apparently they were doing lessons on static electricity and circuits (yes, I know, two of my strong suits) and she needed a couple extra bodies to help out. I said that I'd be happy to.
I showed up yesterday for the static electricity lesson and a parent was there. We distributed balloons and tissue paper and pieces of wool and plastic spoons. I tied a bunch of balloon knots and ultimately had a pretty good time watching the kids rub balloons in their hair to see how many they could get to stay. One kid had three balloons suspended by her hair.
Today, they were working with circuits - series circuits and parallel circuits. There were four parents and me all there to help out. I had no idea what the heck I was doing. One of the parents I tried following the handouts (dittos?) to make a parallel circuit and it just didn't work. Eventually we figured it out. Let's just say it was a little damaging to the ego to see how easily the kids were able to do this.
Anyway, I had a group of six kids I was working with. They were paired up and I was there to help them do the project. They were pretty good kids - fun and were trying hard. I had Yuriko's daughter Kailey in my group, too. She was kind of quiet, but I think that was because she wasn't sure what they were supposed to be doing. Ultimately, everyone made both series circuits and parallel circuits. And then after that, we had them make electromagnets. All in all, I had a pretty good time. And I learned something, too!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Nothing Tastes More Like Summer Than a Root Beer Float
Rather than heading back home after my accounting class yesterday, I decided that I would find myself a new lunch spot on the peninsula and would progressively make my way down to Palo Alto by the time my soccer game started.
I stumbled on a mom and pop place called The Pantry that does breakfast all day and then sandwiches and dinner, too. I decided to get a tuna melt and a root beer float. The sandwich could have been a lot better - it was tuna, celery, American cheese, and a little bit of soy sauce residue I think. Not the tuna melt I was hoping for. And a few hours later, I regretted it even more.
Even the root beer float also left a lot to be desired. It was a paper cup with a bunch of root beer and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I know what you're thinking, "thanks for the description of a root beer float, genius." But it was a little bit disappointing to look at.
But the taste was just like summer. I was instantly transported to our family vacation locale in Graeagle (pronounced Gray Eagle) that's coming up next month.
Anyway, I'll keep this brief. Don't go to The Pantry in San Mateo. Do go get a root beer float sometime soon!
I stumbled on a mom and pop place called The Pantry that does breakfast all day and then sandwiches and dinner, too. I decided to get a tuna melt and a root beer float. The sandwich could have been a lot better - it was tuna, celery, American cheese, and a little bit of soy sauce residue I think. Not the tuna melt I was hoping for. And a few hours later, I regretted it even more.
Even the root beer float also left a lot to be desired. It was a paper cup with a bunch of root beer and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I know what you're thinking, "thanks for the description of a root beer float, genius." But it was a little bit disappointing to look at.
But the taste was just like summer. I was instantly transported to our family vacation locale in Graeagle (pronounced Gray Eagle) that's coming up next month.
Anyway, I'll keep this brief. Don't go to The Pantry in San Mateo. Do go get a root beer float sometime soon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
