The Bachelorette - Season 12 Episode 1 Review

I've been meaning to get back to my Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor In Paradise blog for a while now.  But I'm back for real now.

The first episode of the Bachelor/Bachelorette season is probably my favorite every season.  There are so many things to look for - the entrance of each contestant, the initial encounter with the Bachelor/ette, the initial encounters with the other contestants, the person who drinks too much the first night, the predictions of who will be in the last four.

But let's get you started with the basics... the bachelorette this season is Jojo Fletcher, a 25 year-old real estate developer from Dallas.

Jojo Fletcher - The Bachelorette

Jojo was the runner-up in the last season of The Bachelor (where Ben Higgins was the Bachelor). Probably my favorite moment of last season was Jojo's reaction to Ben telling her that he loved her.  She was so visibly shocked and overjoyed and validated all at the same time.  It actually brings tears to my eyes to re-watch it (starting at 3:00).

Jojo kind of snuck up on me last season - of all the contestants, she came across to me as the most down-to-earth and was able to simultaneously be part of the show and also to take a step back and recognize the artificiality of it.  She became Ben's confidant who he trusted unconditionally.  For those of you who watched last season, you may have noticed that when Ben told two women that he loved them, Ben "confessed" this fact to Jojo, but not to the eventual winner until after she accepted his proposal.  To me, that, coupled with the fact that Jojo never became territorial with any of the other women, speaks volumes of her ability to listen and make others feel safe and not judged.  Evelyn (my wife) and I were thrilled to hear that she was the Bachelorette this season.

One interesting side note is that in the last season we got a glimpse into Jojo's family - three brothers, a patriarchal father, and a mother who, while sweet, seemed to be overpowered by the men in the family.  It definitely appeared that the dynamic in the family was one of more traditional gender roles and that everyone deferred to the father in the family.  This could play out in a number of ways (or not even at all), but it appears that Jojo will gravitate toward stronger masculinity (confidence, assertiveness) and not seek to draw out men who are more reserved.  It is also possible that Jojo will give more latitude to guys who are more domineering... though on the other hand, given her family experience, she may be able to recognize that behavior and nip it in the bud.

In the season preview, we were given glimpses into Chad's aggressive behavior in future episodes and we hear Jojo say that she has a tendency to be attracted to bad guys.  This got me thinking about the adage that many of us have heard, "nice guys finish last" or the corollary to that: "why do women prefer guys who treat them bad?"

But from her (or any woman's) perspective, how do you discern the difference between confidence and over-aggressiveness?  Both have a quality of assertiveness - to be acting as opposed to reacting; to be direct; and to be certain about what is desired, rather than being wishy-washy.  The differences between unhealthy aggression and true confidence are subtle and become much more apparent with context (which is completely absent on the first night of The Bachelorette).

Jordan

Chad

I re-watched the interactions Jojo had with Jordan and with Chad.  The main thing that jumped out to me was that Jordan started the interaction by asking Jojo to talk about herself.  He said, "tell me about you" and gave her a chance to talk first.  On the other hand, Chad started just talking about himself and that prompted her to ask questions about him.  Later on, Chad began telling Jojo how he saw her and complimenting her on his perception of her confidence.  The confident man is able to share the stage and is genuinely interested in what the woman has to say.  He recognizes her intelligence and respects her opinion.  The aggressive man dominates the conversation.  He may ask the woman questions, but then uses her words as platform for him to talk more and show how much more he knows than she does.  (Obviously, that's an over-simplification, but it will have to do for now.)

Jojo found Chad to be mysterious, vulnerable, and rugged while finding Jordan to be confident and sexy.  She seemed to enjoy drawing Chad out and being the one to unwrap his "vulnerabilities".  Note that she seemed much less interested in the guys who came out and shared their vulnerability too early (all the guys who were telling her how nervous they were).

After the interaction between Jojo and Chad, we were given the opportunity to see Chad's reaction on his private camera time where he says, "I'm confident that if I wanted her, she would be mine" and then talking shit about Ben being too soft, supple, and sensitive.  If we didn't have that added context, would we be thinking that Chad was an aggressive asshole?  Seeing how Jojo wasn't privy to Chad's comments, how could she possibly see the warning signs we all saw?  Well, there was this first interaction they had - no normal guy leads with the awkward two hand thing that Chad did:

I wanted to make this a gif, but I'm not technologically "gif"ted enough to make it happen.  Trust me when I say that it was a weird, two-hand grab of Jojo's hands.  Not a hug, not a kiss, a two hand grab.

It will be interesting to see how Jojo's relationship with Chad develops over time.  And yes, I will keep talking about it while he's on the show.


A few other points before I put this online (in time for tonight's showing):

• If your first interaction involves push-ups, you are trying too hard, Alex.

• In talking about Alex, if you're going to be the guy who takes away the Bachelorette first, rehearse what you're going to say.  He could have been a bit more self-deprecating or at least self-aware in what he said and should have opted for something like, "Hey guys, someone needs to be the one to do this and I'm going to be that guy.  Jojo, can I steal you away first?  Guys, feel free to say whatever you want in your private camera time."
• Jordan's line when the guy dressed like Santa came in.  "I'm glad somebody did it... I'm glad it wasn't me."
• When Jonathan walked in with a kilt, not-yet-drunk Daniel said that "I wouldn't take off my shirt the first night and say, look at my body."  Then he proceeded to have ten drinks and doing just that.
• Speaking of Daniel, someone needs to tell him that he has CREEPY eye contact.  He looks like a stalker.  I'm guessing that he'll have an early exit on Bachelor In Paradise this summer.
• I think that older contestants tend to do better on the show than the young ones.  The maturity comes through.  The guys in their 30s are: James (the boxing club owner), Daniel (the drunk), Nick (Santa), Evan (the ED specialist), Wells (the radio DJ), and Luke (the Texan veteran/farmer).  Aside from Daniel, I thought they all did well on the first night.  Nick is my dark horse favorite - I was impressed that he stayed in costume all night.
• Despite the fact that Jordan's brother is Aaron Rodgers, he hasn't name-dropped to Jojo yet (at least not on screen).  I'm wondering when that moment will happen.
• All the puns were KILLING me (Jojo, I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later?!?)
• Not enough Chris Harrison in this episode.
• Did you notice that when Chad accepted his rose, he said "I do" to Jojo?
• I liked Evan UNTIL he said "God bless America" upon seeing Jojo for the first time.  And then he said it again later in the episode.  
• How the heck do people get that drunk on the first night without the bartenders being encouraged to help the guys over-indulge?  I thought that bartenders weren't allowed to serve alcohol to people who were visibly drunk.

My current guesses for the four who will make it to the hometown dates:

1) Jordan.  He was the first out of the limo.  He is confident, he is good looking, and he seems emotionally intelligent.  I like his comments into the private camera - funny but not putting anyone down.

Christian

2) Christian.  At 26, he's a bit on the young side, but he seemed to have incredible confidence and maturity.  He may be too driven for Jojo, but we found his personal story about being bi-racial and not having contact with his white family due to racism to be quite compelling.

St Nick (not to be confused with SF's own Nick S) 

3) Nick.  He's 33 and he was Santa the whole night which takes some confidence to stay that way for a 8-10 hours party.  I'm reading his bio and he's an accomplished rugby playing electrical engineer.  I also loved that he gave out presents to the guys.  We saw nothing of who he is yet, but I've got a suspicion that there's a lot more to him than we've seen.

Luke

Wells and All 4 One

4) Luke or Wells.  (I know this is cheating)  They're both 31.  Wells is a radio DJ who seems down-to-earth.  I wasn't totally sold on Wells bringing All 4 One with him, but it seemed like Jojo (and even the guys) respected it.  Luke is a farmer who is also a veteran.  Jojo seemed to like both a lot, but I'm not sold on either of them.