The way I see it, any predictions about the end of the world or the rapture or whatever are reminiscent of email scams. They sound pretty plausible at first, but when you look a little more closely, you can find some of the tell-tale signs that it's completely fabricated.
1) Use of numerology without any meaning
I was going to write something, but then came across this. It captures a lot of my thinking, but actually has some sort of basis in research.
2) Reliance on human societal constructs
Harold Camping has declared that the end of the world will begin with New Zealand, one of the first countries to experience the "new" day. However, New Zealand is a COMPLETELY arbitrary starting point since we devised the International Date Line. With Y2K, this made sense. With the rapture, not so much.
Beyond that, the sole use of the solar calendar is also problematic since that is only one way to measure the passage of time. Since ancient religions (and Jesus) used a lunar calendar rather than a solar calendar, any prediction NOT based at least in part on the lunar calendar is ridiculous.
3) Reliance on Time as a constant
We're all familiar with our old pal Einstein and his "theory" of relativity. But time as most of us know it, is once again a societal construct. Relativity alone explains the following (that has been tested). Let's say you were about to board a plane to fly around the world non-stop. Just before you got on the plane, you synchronized your watch to a friend of yours who would stay on the ground and be waiting for you to land. Once you landed and compared watches, you would find that your watch is a little bit behind the watch of the person who stayed on the ground.
Look at this
4) The Bible tells us it's going to happen
No offense to any devout believers out there, but I've always had an issue with the whole, "the Bible tells us so" argument. Especially when the source that is cited is the King James Bible. The Bible has been translated so many times that it seems unlikely that one version is the "truth." And that completely overlooks cultural differences that are inherent in language and that certain things just don't translate from language to language.
My favorite example of this comes from the 10 Commandments. Commandment 6 is sometimes translates to say, "Thou shalt not murder." Other translations state, "Thou shalt not kill." The two are similar, but have very different meanings.
5) That the Rapture happens in our lifetime
This is the most telling feature that the rapture prediction is wrong - it puts way too much meaning on the present. The idea that we will be witness to the end of the world is a narcissistic notion. Give me a prediction that it will happen in 2500 years, and I am much more likely to believe you because there's nothing in it for you. But the idea that the messiah, the rapture, first contact from aliens, or the zombie apocalypse will happen in our lifetime is most likely due to a heightened sense of self-importance that is fairly rampant in the US.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
What's the conspiracy here?
I think too many people are spouting out the phrase "conspiracy theory" and are just not using their heads at all.
Let's take a step back here and review.
First off, I was a little bit surprised by how excited I was that we ended up raiding the compound Osama bin Laden was hiding in and that we killed him. I genuinely felt a sense of relief and pride that he has been hunted and killed. I believe that the world is a much better place without him and that he was a true villain.
Yesterday afternoon as I read account after account of the operation, I came to realize how truly gutsy this was and all that was at stake. We sent 10-12 of our most elite military personnel in to detain and/or kill him. I'm sure that there were contingency plans, but this was going to be an attack that relied on the element of surprise and was based on intelligence that was hopefully accurate. Think of the ramifications if the mission failed... we would lose 10-12 of our most elite soldiers and they would be killed most heinously. As a president and commander-in-chief, Obama would have been severely hamstrung. His leadership would have been questioned throughout the remainder of his term and morale in the country would be low.
So this brings me back to the whole question of the conspiracy theory that everyone seems to be touting. "We need to show pictures of Osama bin Laden's dead body to quell the conspiracy theorists out there."
What's the conspiracy?
I could come up with two seemingly plausible theories...
1) We went into the compound, but instead of getting Osama bin Laden, we got one of his body doubles. Bin Laden himself is in hiding elsewhere. The DNA testing was never done (but we said it was) and the body was "buried" at sea so that no one could discover the fake body.
Sure, that's plausible EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE PROBLEM THAT BIN LADEN WOULD STILL BE OUT THERE! All he would need to do is send out a new video and the whole ruse would be up. If we didn't know exactly where bin Laden was, it would be all-too-easy for him to issue a video.
2) We actually managed to capture and kill bin Laden months ago, but President Obama was waiting for the right time to release the news to the public so that he could use it for the greatest political gain.
Aside from the fact that Obama could have used this jump in approval ratings since he came into office, sure. Though it is curious timing that he'd wait for almost the entire mid-west and south to be evacuating their homes and/or without power due to tornadoes and massive flooding.
3) The third and most ridiculous conspiracy theory that I was able to imagine was this:
We didn't actually get bin Laden. In fact, President Obama and Osama bin Laden are working together due to Obama's secret muslim beliefs. Both Obama and bin Laden know that if the economy continues to stay at the same pace or improve that Obama is virtually guaranteed a second term. So they agreed that Obama would "capture and kill" bin Laden. Obama would sell it to the military that "it is in America's best interests to believe that we successfully captured and killed bin Laden. As long as bin Laden stays underground for the next year and a half and doesn't give away the plan. Obama then turns traitor and helps al Qaeda destroy freedom and democracy for the world.
As soon as someone can explain this to me, then maybe I'll understand why people believe that the US needs to release the pictures of bin Laden's dead body. Don't we realize how much the release of the photos would be a rallying point for al Qaeda? I still have the video of the planes flying into the Twin Towers scorched into my memory. It's part of the reason why I feel so happy that we got bin Laden. Releasing the photographs gives other members of al Qaeda that image to motivate them to try harder to kill more innocents and inflict terror on the world.
I don't need to see the pictures. I believe that bin Laden is dead, not because I trust our president and our government. I believe that bin Laden is dead because if he was alive, it would be SO easy for him to prove that he's still alive. Shit, if I were al Qaeda, I would have dressed up a look alike to have shot and released a video the day after the strike that said, "Hey US, you missed. You got my body double and not me." But they DIDN'T issue that video. There has been nothing from al Qaeda at all. They're scrambling because their leader is gone, picture or no.
Let's take a step back here and review.
First off, I was a little bit surprised by how excited I was that we ended up raiding the compound Osama bin Laden was hiding in and that we killed him. I genuinely felt a sense of relief and pride that he has been hunted and killed. I believe that the world is a much better place without him and that he was a true villain.
Yesterday afternoon as I read account after account of the operation, I came to realize how truly gutsy this was and all that was at stake. We sent 10-12 of our most elite military personnel in to detain and/or kill him. I'm sure that there were contingency plans, but this was going to be an attack that relied on the element of surprise and was based on intelligence that was hopefully accurate. Think of the ramifications if the mission failed... we would lose 10-12 of our most elite soldiers and they would be killed most heinously. As a president and commander-in-chief, Obama would have been severely hamstrung. His leadership would have been questioned throughout the remainder of his term and morale in the country would be low.
So this brings me back to the whole question of the conspiracy theory that everyone seems to be touting. "We need to show pictures of Osama bin Laden's dead body to quell the conspiracy theorists out there."
What's the conspiracy?
I could come up with two seemingly plausible theories...
1) We went into the compound, but instead of getting Osama bin Laden, we got one of his body doubles. Bin Laden himself is in hiding elsewhere. The DNA testing was never done (but we said it was) and the body was "buried" at sea so that no one could discover the fake body.
Sure, that's plausible EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE PROBLEM THAT BIN LADEN WOULD STILL BE OUT THERE! All he would need to do is send out a new video and the whole ruse would be up. If we didn't know exactly where bin Laden was, it would be all-too-easy for him to issue a video.
2) We actually managed to capture and kill bin Laden months ago, but President Obama was waiting for the right time to release the news to the public so that he could use it for the greatest political gain.
Aside from the fact that Obama could have used this jump in approval ratings since he came into office, sure. Though it is curious timing that he'd wait for almost the entire mid-west and south to be evacuating their homes and/or without power due to tornadoes and massive flooding.
3) The third and most ridiculous conspiracy theory that I was able to imagine was this:
We didn't actually get bin Laden. In fact, President Obama and Osama bin Laden are working together due to Obama's secret muslim beliefs. Both Obama and bin Laden know that if the economy continues to stay at the same pace or improve that Obama is virtually guaranteed a second term. So they agreed that Obama would "capture and kill" bin Laden. Obama would sell it to the military that "it is in America's best interests to believe that we successfully captured and killed bin Laden. As long as bin Laden stays underground for the next year and a half and doesn't give away the plan. Obama then turns traitor and helps al Qaeda destroy freedom and democracy for the world.
As soon as someone can explain this to me, then maybe I'll understand why people believe that the US needs to release the pictures of bin Laden's dead body. Don't we realize how much the release of the photos would be a rallying point for al Qaeda? I still have the video of the planes flying into the Twin Towers scorched into my memory. It's part of the reason why I feel so happy that we got bin Laden. Releasing the photographs gives other members of al Qaeda that image to motivate them to try harder to kill more innocents and inflict terror on the world.
I don't need to see the pictures. I believe that bin Laden is dead, not because I trust our president and our government. I believe that bin Laden is dead because if he was alive, it would be SO easy for him to prove that he's still alive. Shit, if I were al Qaeda, I would have dressed up a look alike to have shot and released a video the day after the strike that said, "Hey US, you missed. You got my body double and not me." But they DIDN'T issue that video. There has been nothing from al Qaeda at all. They're scrambling because their leader is gone, picture or no.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Thoughts While Trying Not To Shoot Myself In The Face
I am sitting in my tax accounting class... my extraordinarily poorly taught tax accounting class and the only thing keeping me going is the knowledge that I have only ONE MORE 8 HOUR LECTURE left and that is next week. I think I can make it without setting myself on fire, jumping out the window, or otherwise demonstrating my true feelings about this class.
I just spent the last 45 minutes getting sporadic updates on the Sharks' game 2 win against the Red Wings. But now that that is over, how am I going to keep myself from falling asleep in class? By updating my blog!
- Our professor sounds like a shrill muppet. If you've seen Avenue Q, I think she sounds like Kate Monster. She also starts every other sentence with this lilting, "Sooooooo" which just makes her sound more ridiculous. She also has very unreal looking hair.
- There was an ad here at Santa Clara for a campus-wide Drag Party. The "catchy" tag line for the party is "Put Your Gender In a Blender." That's actually one place where I am never putting my gender.
- The longer I sit in this class, the less I think I'm going to make it today. You know the part in the bible where there is pretty much just a listing of rules (Deuteronomy and Numbers)? This class is like reading that part REALLY slowly with lots of review. Two more weeks. Two more weeks.
- I'm tempted to try to distract my fellow classmates by playing videos silently online.
- This coming week, I get to babysit my niece and nephew for two days. Is anyone else terrified by the prospect of me looking after two children who are 6 and 7? I've been informed that they have to eat three meals a day and that they won't just go and buy their own food.
- Last night, I got to hang out with my friend Dylan who apparently has been gone for NINE years!! I can't believe that he'd been living in Germany that long. I thought it had just been 5 years. Crazy. Dylan was one of the two best defensive soccer players I've ever played with and I'm psyched to have a chance to play on the field with him again this Tuesday.
- I'm very surprised that we haven't really heard of any new doomsday groups after this years' environmental events: Japan earthquake and tsunami, mid-west flooding, and south tornadoes. There have to be some crazies out there working on SOMEthing. Right?
- There's nothing like reaching into your pocket the night after drinking and finding MORE money there than you thought you had. It turns out that I had temporarily forgotten that I finally go paid for winning an NCAA basketball pool. Hot damn.
OK, time to go do practice problems.
I just spent the last 45 minutes getting sporadic updates on the Sharks' game 2 win against the Red Wings. But now that that is over, how am I going to keep myself from falling asleep in class? By updating my blog!
- Our professor sounds like a shrill muppet. If you've seen Avenue Q, I think she sounds like Kate Monster. She also starts every other sentence with this lilting, "Sooooooo" which just makes her sound more ridiculous. She also has very unreal looking hair.
- There was an ad here at Santa Clara for a campus-wide Drag Party. The "catchy" tag line for the party is "Put Your Gender In a Blender." That's actually one place where I am never putting my gender.
- The longer I sit in this class, the less I think I'm going to make it today. You know the part in the bible where there is pretty much just a listing of rules (Deuteronomy and Numbers)? This class is like reading that part REALLY slowly with lots of review. Two more weeks. Two more weeks.
- I'm tempted to try to distract my fellow classmates by playing videos silently online.
- This coming week, I get to babysit my niece and nephew for two days. Is anyone else terrified by the prospect of me looking after two children who are 6 and 7? I've been informed that they have to eat three meals a day and that they won't just go and buy their own food.
- Last night, I got to hang out with my friend Dylan who apparently has been gone for NINE years!! I can't believe that he'd been living in Germany that long. I thought it had just been 5 years. Crazy. Dylan was one of the two best defensive soccer players I've ever played with and I'm psyched to have a chance to play on the field with him again this Tuesday.
- I'm very surprised that we haven't really heard of any new doomsday groups after this years' environmental events: Japan earthquake and tsunami, mid-west flooding, and south tornadoes. There have to be some crazies out there working on SOMEthing. Right?
- There's nothing like reaching into your pocket the night after drinking and finding MORE money there than you thought you had. It turns out that I had temporarily forgotten that I finally go paid for winning an NCAA basketball pool. Hot damn.
OK, time to go do practice problems.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
My Imagination 1 - Reality 0
A couple days ago, I went into work like any other day. It was a Tuesday - the day after Valentine's Day. Upon my arrival, I proceeded to carry out my normal morning routine: check my work email, see if my dad (boss) needs anything, and then go get water from the kitchen. And that is where my imagination got the better of my day.
Someone from our office had purchased nine or ten boxes of cookies. No, not Girl Scout Cookies. These were official Cougar Mountain Cookies.
Now as it turns out (and which I just found out today), Cougar Mountain Cookies are from Washington. Some guy started making cookies way back in 1988 and perfected his recipe and has been running this small operation for years. He named the company after a nearby BO-RING!!!!
I liked the story I came up with better...
About five years ago, three 49 year-old women were reunited through difficult circumstances. They had been friends since grade school, but had fallen out of touch until they met up quite coincidentally at a 'recent divorcee' support group. As it turns out, all three of them were going through divorces all at the same time and were looking to re-establish themselves and take the world by storm. You see, all three of them were still very attractive and they had come to see their divorces as a second chance at life. A liberation, if you will. And even better, all three of them came through the divorce financially secure.
Laura, Vicky, and Laura started spending much more time together: going out to bars, going out to fancy dinners, all the normal stuff you'd see on Desperate Housewives or Sex in the City. But the one thing they realized that they could do better than anyone else they knew was bake cookies. They could bake the FUCK out of cookies.
So they started going to farmer's markets to sell their homemade cookies and people definitely started to notice. One day at the markey, the head chef of a nearby prominent restaurant stopped by their booth. "I need to serve your cookies from my dessert menu," he told them because they were the most excellent cookies he had ever had. "What is your company called?" Laura, Vicky, and Laura looked at each other - they had never even considered that they would turn this hobby into a business, much less need a company name. Vicky, in a moment of inspiration, blurted out, "Cougar Mountain Cookies." [Quick side note, I considered going a VERY different direction with this.]
After the restauranteur left, both Laura's turned to Vicky. "Where'd you come up with that name?" Vicky reminded them that YEARS ago, they were girl scouts together and sold cookies way back in the day. She had been toying with the idea of starting a scout troop for single women. But instead of Woman Scouts or Girl Scouts 2, she had been considering Cougar Scouts. Instead of merit badges for sewing or baking, they would have to earn badges for seducing and sex: a recent college grad, a struggling artist, a celebrity. But it wouldn't just be about sex, there would be merit badges for helping a friend through a difficult time, yoga, philanthropy, and whatever else they wanted to inspire them to continue to grow.
Ever the enterprising woman, Vicky's plan involved an umbrella organization called Cougar Mountain that would manage and run all of the various Cougar entities. And thus Cougar Mountain Cookies was born.
Now tell me, which story do you prefer - the REAL version of Cougar Mountain Cookies or mine?
Someone from our office had purchased nine or ten boxes of cookies. No, not Girl Scout Cookies. These were official Cougar Mountain Cookies.
Now as it turns out (and which I just found out today), Cougar Mountain Cookies are from Washington. Some guy started making cookies way back in 1988 and perfected his recipe and has been running this small operation for years. He named the company after a nearby BO-RING!!!!
I liked the story I came up with better...
About five years ago, three 49 year-old women were reunited through difficult circumstances. They had been friends since grade school, but had fallen out of touch until they met up quite coincidentally at a 'recent divorcee' support group. As it turns out, all three of them were going through divorces all at the same time and were looking to re-establish themselves and take the world by storm. You see, all three of them were still very attractive and they had come to see their divorces as a second chance at life. A liberation, if you will. And even better, all three of them came through the divorce financially secure.
Laura, Vicky, and Laura started spending much more time together: going out to bars, going out to fancy dinners, all the normal stuff you'd see on Desperate Housewives or Sex in the City. But the one thing they realized that they could do better than anyone else they knew was bake cookies. They could bake the FUCK out of cookies.
So they started going to farmer's markets to sell their homemade cookies and people definitely started to notice. One day at the markey, the head chef of a nearby prominent restaurant stopped by their booth. "I need to serve your cookies from my dessert menu," he told them because they were the most excellent cookies he had ever had. "What is your company called?" Laura, Vicky, and Laura looked at each other - they had never even considered that they would turn this hobby into a business, much less need a company name. Vicky, in a moment of inspiration, blurted out, "Cougar Mountain Cookies." [Quick side note, I considered going a VERY different direction with this.]
After the restauranteur left, both Laura's turned to Vicky. "Where'd you come up with that name?" Vicky reminded them that YEARS ago, they were girl scouts together and sold cookies way back in the day. She had been toying with the idea of starting a scout troop for single women. But instead of Woman Scouts or Girl Scouts 2, she had been considering Cougar Scouts. Instead of merit badges for sewing or baking, they would have to earn badges for seducing and sex: a recent college grad, a struggling artist, a celebrity. But it wouldn't just be about sex, there would be merit badges for helping a friend through a difficult time, yoga, philanthropy, and whatever else they wanted to inspire them to continue to grow.
Ever the enterprising woman, Vicky's plan involved an umbrella organization called Cougar Mountain that would manage and run all of the various Cougar entities. And thus Cougar Mountain Cookies was born.
Now tell me, which story do you prefer - the REAL version of Cougar Mountain Cookies or mine?
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