On one hand, I want to encourage everyone to watch this season of Bachelor In Paradise. On the other hand, I think that everyone should avoid it at all costs. But I am absolutely riveted by what I saw in the first episode.
I want to avoid talking about The Chad. I think it rewards disrespectful behavior. He is an ugly human being. Unfortunately, you can't talk about this episode without talking about him, but we'll get to that later.
The Three Categories of Contestants
A couple of seasons ago, I wrote in my blog that there were three types of contestants on Bachelor In Paradise: Voices of Reason (VOR) (the peer counselors/the ones who keep everything in perspective), Fame Seekers (the ones who will do/say anything to get as much air time as possible), and Crazies. I have decided to re-define the "Crazy" category so that it includes men/women who get obsessive, men/women who refuse (or are unable) to listen to reason.
I also wrote this:
Fame Seekers and Crazies make a natural self-sustaining relationship. The Fame Seeker knows that he/she won't get kicked off no matter what they do because the Crazies don't know when to say "enough".
Fame Seekers can date other Fame Seekers... it doesn't make for a compelling relationship because they both want to be on tv and can't really deepen the relationship.
Crazies cannot date Crazies. That leads to domestic violence.
VOR cannot date Crazies. They realize that Crazy always stay Crazy and that gets scary.
VOR can date Fame Seekers for the short term, but it doesn't work in the long term. The Fame Seeker comes across as fake and the VOR can't take it for too long.
VOR can date VOR, but it isn't compelling tv to watch a healthy relationship. They may just get married (like Tanner and Jade last year).
Obviously, EVERYONE on the show has some element of being a fame seeker, but if you look closely, you can see their true colors shine through.
The Contestants
Before watching this episode, I didn't watch any of the previews of the season. I made a list of the people I would like to see on the show. I came up with: Jubilee (from Ben's season), Josh A (Kaitlyn's season), Cody (Andi), Ben Z (Kaitlyn), Lauren H (Ben), Carly (Chris), Amber (Chris and Ben), Danielle (Juan Pablo), Olivia (Ben) Nick (Andi and Kaitlyn), Clare (Juan Pablo), Wells (Jojo), James T (Jojo), Christian (Jojo), and Michelle Money (because why not). I was very happy with the results.
As I was watching each of the video introductions, I realized how excited I was for the season.
I have provided my snap judgment/categorization of each contestant and also, parenthetically, my reaction to seeing them on the show:
Voices of Reason:
Amanda (YAY!), Nick (YAY!), Vinny (meh), Jared (yay), Sarah (FUCKING YAY!!!), Carly (YAY!)
Crazies:
Jubilee (YAY!), Lace (meh), Chad (BOO)
Fame Seekers:
Evan (meh), Daniel (meh), Emily (Boo), Haley (Boo), Grant (meh), Izzy (who?)
Favorite Quotes
"It's the penis guy" - Jubilee (when Evan arrived in Paradise)
"Find out his name so I don't call him penis guy" - Jubilee to Nick
"I love savage people" - Jubilee (about Chad)
"I think the new girl is beautiful" - Vinny about Sarah (and then never talked to her)
"How old are you?" Daniel to Izzy. To which Izzy says '25'. Daniel says, "27? 23? 21? 25? 23?" Izzy said '25' two more times before giving up.
"Let's go over there with everyone else" - Izzy to Daniel right after.
"You look pretty" Amanda to Lace (with the ever-so-slightest emphasis on the word look which turns what would have been a compliment into a slight)
"It's probably the stupidest conversation ever" -Emily or Haley talking about the conversation that Daniel was having with the other twin.
"I don't know, I'm still trying to figure it out." - Amanda when asked who she would ask out on a date if she got a date card. It was just so diplomatic, but perfectly deflected.
"Jubilee seems like an Ashley I rerun" - Carly being very insightful
"I've been to war and back and can't handle a fricking clown?" - Jubilee while on her date with Jared and getting interrupted by a clown.
"She looks like a mess. I feel sorry for anyone who dates her." - Grant about Lace (it just felt like foreshadowing)
"Can you be a runner up in paradise?" - Nick (probably a foreshadowing quote)
"You have a better chance of making out with a turtle than making out with anyone here." - Daniel to Chad
And the best one... "Chad, your time in paradise has ended" - Chris Harrison
Least Favorite Quote
"I'm in Puerto Vallartee and I'm ready to party" - Vinny. Fuck you, Vinny.
Other Observations
- Nick didn't really have any friends on Kaitlyn's season. When Jared arrived, the two hugged like old friends. They appear to have buried the hatchet.
- Nick's shorts seemed to be too tight
- I loved that Nick's occupation was "Runner Up" and that in his video introduction they replayed the two "I'm sorry"s he got from Andi and Kaitlyn
- The glow on Daniel's speedo was fantastic!
- At one point when Emily or Haley was speaking, the caption read "Haley or Emily" with the occupation "Twin"
- I don't buy that Chad shat himself while passed out.
- Why does everyone reference Jade and Tanner and not Marcus and Lacey?
- When Carly arrived, none of the guys went over to hug her
- There are twins on the show.
- When Grant and Jubilee met, he looked away while hugging her
- Who were the two people that Jubilee seemed to trust? Sarah and Nick.
- Hey, did you notice that there are twins on the show?
- When all the shit was going down with Chad, there were five women hanging out with Nick: Amanda, Haley, Emily, Sarah, and, eventually, Lace. Seems like the women trust him.
- I think the producers knew it was only a matter of time until The Chad imploded. In the last two seasons of BIP, there were six roses to be given out at each rose ceremony. Then in BIP 3, there are seven guys and eight women (plus if one of the twins gets a rose, the other one stays?). How would ANYONE get kicked off? I think they knew that Chad would get kicked out before the first rose ceremony because they knew how volatile he would be.
Chad and Lace
Carly put it best, this WAS the shortest relationship ever on Bachelor In Paradise. And you know what, it's too bad. For the first 30 minutes, they were actually VERY cute. Lace wasn't putting up with The Chad's shit. Chad actually looked happy for a little bit - he actually seemed to be laughing for real. They were actually kind of cute. And while they were playing rough each other, it appeared to me to be consensual. Watching them play at power dynamics and to see Chad cede some control to Lace was fascinating.
But then Chad couldn't let good stay good - he had to push it too far. Who knows, maybe he felt the need to push her away. Maybe he thought that he needed to get and stay drunk to keep her interested. Maybe he couldn't keep toeing the line of play vs disrespect.
Whatever the case, Chad crossed the line. He stopped listening to Lace and didn't respect her boundaries. What started as cute and charming became inappropriate, offensive, and demeaning.
Time For Chad To Leave... Forever
It was hard to watch Chad get angry and physically intimidate Lace and to call her the names he did. When he walked past her at one point, he pushed her out of the way. Why didn't any of the BIP staff intervene? The only one who stood up to him at all was Sarah and the stuff he said to her was WAY out of bounds. Sarah has long been my favorite on BIP and somehow she became even more impressive by not giving Chad the pleasure of getting upset by his words. I was disappointed that Nick didn't say/do anything. But I thought Daniel did a good job of confronting Chad after everyone left.
We saw in the preview for Episode 2 that Chad comes back after being dismissed. And then they made it out to be a big thing. I would be SHOCKED if episode 2 ended up being even a quarter as exciting as they made it out to be.
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