I am LOVING this season so far. There are so many different things that can be discussed. For this episode, my focus was on all of the different ways that masculinity was portrayed. And to no one's surprise, it wasn't really positive if you go against gender norms.
Masculinity Example #1 - Overly Aggressive: The Chad
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| The Chad and Lace. Notice the aggressive posture. |
Episode 2 began with the cliffhanger(?) of The Chad being dismissed from the show. For those of you not watching the show, but reading the blog, The Chad is a clusterfuck of a human who, on night one, managed to get shit-faced drunk and kiss fight with Lace up until the point that he started being too physical with her and extraordinarily rude to everyone else.
At the start of Episode 2, we saw Chad being belligerent with Chris Harrison (the host) and the camera crew. Some quotes, "On a scale from 1 to fuck off... fuck off." (to Chris Harrison). "You come at me with 25 people, I'm going to say things that are slightly offensive, slightly funny. What do you expect? It's like... fun. It's fun. They were all vibing me until they realized that they weren't supposed to be vibing me." "Vibing my meat tastes."
The Chad is our shining example of a guy who gets what he wants through aggression and force. He blames others for his problems and intimidates others by losing control. The show rewards this behavior by focusing on it and not stepping in while it's happening. Chad has had about 200% more air time than he should have and the previews make it look like he'll be getting even more.
Masculinity Example #2 - Following Gender Norms: Jared, Vinny, Grant, Daniel, Josh
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| Vinny and Izzy. Who? |
Vinny effectively used the rose situation (he had one to give out and two people interested (Sarah and Izzy) to get himself two make out sessions on the same night. (That may not look so good upon replay.) Now, we know that Vinny was interested in Sarah when she arrived and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he honestly didn't know who he was going to pick. But like a typical guy, Vinny went with the sure thing. Even more typically, he didn't tell either woman what he was thinking.
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| Grant - looking past it |
After watching Lace making out with Chad the previous night, Grant swooped in and ignored his own advice from the previous episode when he said, "She looks like a mess. I feel sorry for anyone who dates her." What rubbed me the wrong way was that Grant kept saying to Lace, "I'm willing to look past it." What is "it" specifically? Being interested in someone else? Being mistreated by a guy in front of 12 other people who were unwilling or unable to stand up for her? What's wrong with a woman making out with a couple guys? If anything, Grant should be saying something like, "I'm sorry I didn't step in last night to make sure that you were okay."
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| Josh and Amanda |
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| Daniel (with The Chad) |
Neither Josh nor Daniel seems capable of having a conversation about feelings. In most of their discussions, they seem to base their interest in women solely on their looks. To his credit, Daniel did give his rose to Sarah because everyone seemed to like having her around. But that doesn't make up for Daniel's first day in paradise where he made some pretty demeaning comments (comparing them to dogs, etc.)
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| Jared and Jubilee on their 1-1 date |
And Jared... I can't get a read on Jared. In his one-on-one date with Jubilee and in his time with Emily, he just has seemed emotionally distant. In doing so, he's maintaining control.
Masculinity Example #3 - The Effeminate Guy: Evan
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| Evan and Carly before the emasculation |
Evan could have been the lead singer for an 80s band. But instead, he's an erectile dysfunction specialist. He's in touch with his feelings and he consistently talks about wanting to be stronger in his private camera time. But the fact of the matter is that Evan does not have a stereotypically male presence.
He and Carly struck up a friendship and both of them were interested in seeing if things could progress. While they DID kiss, there were three major problems: 1) It did not happen in a romantic way; 2) Evan is apparently a bad kisser; and 3) Evan didn't initiate the kiss, it just kind of happened.
The night after the rose ceremony, Evan and Carly went on a one-on-one date that was, admittedly, pretty freaking horrible. Their date was to set a world record for "Longest Hottest Kiss" where each of them had to eat a habanero pepper in 30 seconds and then maintain a kiss for at least 90 seconds. That was mean of the producers.
Carly was pretty rude when talking about Evan in her private camera time. Saying things like "That was the worst kiss ever" or "I've never wanted to not go on a date more in my life" or "I vomited partly from the habanero and partly from kissing Evan". Is there more that the producers can do to emasculate him?
Masculinity Example #4 - The Emotionally Intelligent Guy/The Feminist: Nick
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| Nick |
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| with Amanda |
Disclaimer: I've liked Nick ever since Andi's season.
We saw on his date with Amanda that he has a high level of emotional intelligence and can actually communicate about his feelings. During their dinner, Nick reflected to Amanda the qualities he saw in her that were deeper than her "niceness". I liked the way he asked her to describe what she was looking for in a husband. The whole discussion was mature and it was a refreshing change from some of the other interactions taking place. They both seemed TOTALLY into each other.
I also tremendously respected that when Leah met one-on-one with Nick to try to get his rose, he told her directly that he wasn't going to do it. He didn't give her false hope nor did he lie to her. Instead, he gave her plenty of time to try to secure a rose from one of the other guys (leading to one of the funniest exchanges ever (with Daniel)).
BUT THEN...
After the rose ceremony, the next man to arrive was Josh Murray, the "winner" of Andi's season. This was the same season that Nick was the runner up the first time. In a lot of ways, Josh blamed Nick for the failure of Josh and Andi's relationship - Josh was pretty jealous of Andi's relationship with Nick and wasn't able to get over it, even after he won. It was definitely NOT a coincidence that Josh came on the show so early.
Josh IMMEDIATELY found out who Nick was interested in and proceeded to ask Amanda out on a date. Amanda accepted and their date had some sparks. Soon after they returned from their date, Josh made a point of kissing her in front of Nick. And here, the episode ended.
Now one could say that if Nick really liked Amanda, he should fight for her and not let her pick Josh over him. But I believe that women should have a say in who they date. Just because Nick wants Amanda, it doesn't mean that the feeling is mutual. Of course Nick shouldn't give up without any fight. He needs to pull Amanda aside and tell her how he feels about her, but that ultimately she needs to decide who she feels is the best fit for her in the long run. It isn't the sexy or romantic way to approach it, but ultimately, Amanda needs to decide for herself what she wants. I've always felt that if you needed to convince someone to love you, it isn't going to last.
We'll see what happens.
Current Crazy Watch
Let's see if your scorecard matches mine:
Voices of Reason (VOR): Nick, Vinny, Sarah, Jared
Crazies: Jubilee (eliminated), Leah (eliminated), Lace, Chad (eliminated)
Fame Seekers: Evan, Carly, Daniel, Emily, Haley, Grant, Izzy, Josh
Not sure: Amanda (probably a VOR)
If we look at the relationships:
Lace and Grant (Crazy and Fame Seeker) - lasts for this season
Vinny and Izzy (VOR and Fame Seeker) - won't last
Nick and Amanda (VOR and VOR) - marriage material
Amanda and Josh (VOR and Fame Seeker) - won't last
(not including Carly and Evan due to her extreme distaste for him)
Other Thoughts
- Evelyn's first comment on seeing Josh - "His teeth are not real"
- Josh always sounds like he's a coach giving pep talks. Listen to his private camera time, it's like he's trying to psych someone up for the big game. Evelyn says that he's always trying to put a positive spin on things.
- In one days' time, Leah was BLINDSIDED that Chad wasn't there (blindsided?), SMITTEN by Nick, FLABBERGASTED (when Nick took Amanda on a date immediately after she had taken Nick on a date), JEALOUS of Amanda, BETRAYED when Nick didn't feel like their one date meant they were in a relationship, and she managed to alienate everyone who had previously known her. It was a pretty epic day in paradise.
- Some advice for Amanda... if you are ever in a situation where a woman has written a tell-all book and one of the guys you like is prominently featured negatively in it, don't take his word when he says "It's all lies". Fucking think about it. Let's say you were in Josh's situation... even if everything said in the book was a lie, you'd still have thoughts about it that would be worth sharing. But to shut down the whole conversation either means that Josh has something to hide/be embarrassed about OR Josh is unable to talk about himself or his feelings.
- Some more advice for Amanda, if a guy asks you about yourself and immediately after mentioning that you have two kids he tries to show empathy by talking about his dog being the apple of his eye... he is willing to say anything to get into your pants and that is all. Comparing kids to owning a dog isn't even in the same ballpark.
And To The Best Exchange of the Season...
Daniel messing with Leah while she was desperately trying to get a rose:
Leah: I've got a lot of layers
Daniel: Like an onion?
L: Yeah, like an onion.
D: You're not gonna make me cry, though
L: No
D: Then you aren't like an onion.
L: (mumbles something unintelligible)
D: You're like an orange. One layer.
L: (speechless)
L: (speechless)
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